bloodrivendream

Queerics

2009-06-10T03:09:00Z

1. Head on over to your blog, Livejournal, website, Myspace, Twitter, LastFM--anywhere where you're free to post your own content. If you don't have some space like that, I'm assuming you came here in a steam-powered time machine, which is pretty cool. In that case, email me and I'll post your entry.

2. Post a link to this page so people know what you're talking about. We do want to draw attention to awesome independent artists, right? click on the lovely picture from Indochine's Marilyn video at the top of the post and then just click on the bright pink GIVEAWAY!

3. Answer one of these questions:
Which queer artist melts your heart, and why?
What band or musician do you most wish was queer?
If you were to create the ultimate queer 4-piece band, which musicians would you choose? Why?
Which queer artist have you been listening to for the longest? How'd you discover them?
What's the most awesome thing you've ever heard a musician say about his or her sexuality?
What would be on YOUR Pride month mixtape?

(You can answer more than one if you want, but don't feel obligated!)

4. Send a link to your entry to QUEERICS@GMAIL.COM, or leave it in a comment on the blog, if email frightens you. Deadline: June 28th

(I am answering the bolded one; and yes, I feel the need to give explanations behind the songs. And my tape player broke a long time ago so this shall not be a real mixtape)

These were all taken off of my "rainbows" playlist. Yes, I have a rainbows playlist, it has existed for awhile now and it is fairly long.

1. The Origin of Love by Rufus Wainwright
Rufus Wainwright covering a song from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. . . and to add to that I love his cover of the song.

2. Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed
I like classics.

3. Gloria by Patti Smith
Frankly, this song is hot. And as I said, I like classics.

4. Rebel Rebel by David Bowie
The best Bowie song in my opinion. And I have been listening to Bowie since I was little (my father is a Bowie fan) so Bowie alway gets a nod from me.

5. Sweet Transvestite from Rocky Horror
The best song from Rocky Horror. It is fun and I have all the lyrics to it memorized. And this is what cemented Frank-N-Furter as a sex symbol in my mind. And I actually have a group of friends with "Rocky Horror Cult" membership cards. . .

6. La Vie Boheme B from RENT
I am a theatre geek and sang this song many a time in art class with a fellow drama geek. I chose part B because it sounds less like it came out of a musical and contains the line "to faggots, lezzies, dykes, crossdressers too."

7. The Rejection by Dangerous Muse
As Chesh put it, this band basically sounds like "the essence of homo." And considering the last song was from a Broadway musical, why try and atypical at this point?

8. She's My Man by The Scissor Sister
The Scissor Sisters are too much fun to leave out.

9. Nancy Boy by Placebo
This song is filthy and messy--I love it. And it happens to be one of the songs that got me hooked on Placebo. And yes, there has to be at least one Placebo song on the list.

10. Michael by Franz Ferdinand
It is along the same lines as Nancy Boy. But it also holds fond pre-teen memories for me. . .

11. Set It Off by Peaches
I am actually a bit torn as to which Peaches song I want to include but I know that the list is incomplete without a Peaches song.

12. Jimmy Dean by Hunter Valentine
This is a fun, hot song. The singer for Hunter Valentine has a ridiculously sexy voice so they had to be somewhere on the list.

13. Rebel Girl by The Bikini Kills
I want to meet the Rebel Girl.

14. If It Isn't Her by Ani DiFranco
I actually adore Ani DiFranco.

15. Best Cock on the Block by Bitch and Animal
This song just makes me giddy. (And then it makes me laugh because it reminds me of the time I borrowed my father's IPod and put my music on it; he took it back, put it on shuffle and went running on a treadmill. By chance this song, "Pictures" by Timo Maas feat. Brian Molko, and "Angry Inch" all managed to play for him. For some reason I found it hilarious when he told me about it afterwards, because really, what are the chances?)

16. Scrooge by Team Smile and Nod
Honestly, I just heard this song for the first time recently but it is wonderful.

17. Marilyn by Indochine
My favourite Indochine song which happens to be accompanied by my favourite Indochine video.

18. When My Boy Walks Down the Street by The Magnetic Fields
A nod to "Queer as Folk," plus a good song.

19. We Oh We by The Hidden Cameras
This song was in the wonderful movie Whole New Thing, which is about a previously home schooled child of hippies developing a crush on his middle school teacher. This song is incredibly adorable and sweet.

20. Rainbowarriors by CocoRosie
This is the first CocoRosie song I heard. And it has a wonderful lullaby sound.

All right, I am done. I think that would all fit on one disk.

venting

2009-05-07T03:51:36Z

Despite never posting anything on livejournal about myself. I truly, honestly enjoy when others do. People fascinate me. But on the same hand I fascinate myself as well and am completely self obsessed.

Disclaimer: what follows is a teenage angst riddled summary of the last year of my life. (a.k.a. VENTING) However, it may not all be nonsense, lots of different topics covered.
I usually work on the assumption that no one gives a damn about my life and it is none of their business and I am fairly reserved. But suddenly I feel hyper and exhibtionist like and tell people way more about myself than they need to know (it only happens in brief out burst such as this one)

The occasion? May 1st was my last ever day of regular high school class. I now have about 3 weeks of exams--but still May 1st was a mile stone.

Overall I hated the last year and a half. But I think it may prove to have been a great time of personal growth and learning experiences. . . (*optimism*).

Start with the easy part: the physical

I gained weight. Not a lot, 5 lbs to 4 kg (2 kg to 10 lbs) of pure fat (I am 5'3" so that is more than it sounds).
I never thought this would bother me at all. But it kind of does. About two years ago I cut weight to fight in - 52 kg judo division (I never actually weighed that little but I was close) I just now realize how comfortable I was there. Also, I look about 10 lbs lighter than I am ('tis just the way I carry weight) so I almost feel obliged to weigh less.

I cut off over a foot of hair.
I no longer have my hippy child / metalhead hair (hippies and metal being to long standing childhood fascinations of mine).
I never had short hair as a child. Despite having thick, frizzy Italian girl hair my parents thought my having long hair was a good idea.
I always thought when I cut my hair I would shave my head or doing something dramatic but I did not.

I started spending way more time on the internet
- my parents bought high speed, we used to have dial up, enough said

Pop Culture
The internet brought on several pop culture fascinations for me:
- YouTube
- last.fm
- Brian Molko
- Patrick Wolf (due to bit torrenting his discography)
- Amanda Fucking Palmer
- Eddie Izzard (due to youtube)
- my Shirley Manson fascination was rekindled
- Freak Folk (look up the genre)
(only to name a few)

I think I may actually be running out of fanfiction that interests me. Probably because I have read a ridiculous amount of it.

Queerics - made me realize how ridiculously large my mental database of queer pop culture related things is

The whole sexuality thing
the internet is gay (what I mean by that is over half of my internet preoccupations are somehow gay/queer (pick your term))
I clarified my mothers opinion on non-straightness--bad results. I never got into a true discussion on the matter with her until recently. She "hates all bisexuals" ("perverse. . . liars"). However, she could get use to me being lesbian (she has only said she thinks I am--how many times?) BUUT would "not be happy" if my brother were gay (he is 11, who knows. I do not think he is obliged to comment though I am slightly curious as to where that is heading). I do not understand the logic. I told her she would be perfectly happy and that she could not hate ALL bi people. She just ignored me after awhile.
My brother told me he is gay. A few times. And then changed his mind. but if he is--damn, that will not make my mother happy. And seems statistically improbable.

I am going to be a crazy cat lady
simply because the archetype fits me quite well. I do not actually like pets. And I do not trust myself taking care of living things. And I do not like people for prolonged periods of time. I want to live alone.
But then again I also fit the nerdy teenaged boy archetype quite well. . . (no I do not think that is actually going anywhere).

My mental stability
At least a hand full of people seriously questioned it this year.
It reminded me of when I was in grade 9 and decided self-piercing was awesome and fun. And then concern was expressed of my being into self-injury. Somewhat unwarranted concern. However, it did terrify me from ever having any marks found on my body that could possibly be self-inflicted. Yes, I was terrified away from using self-harm as a coping mechanism. Good thing? Probably but I still feel a little attacked.
People telling me I am crazy kind of drives me more crazy than anything else.
However, this did result in a teacher asking me if I was "seeing anyone" amazingly fun and awkward moment.

Academic Burnout
About mid-way through last year I slipped into despising school (just like I did back in kindergarden!)
Many people reacted as if I was on the verge of dropping out.
I was just really fucking TIRED
Overreaction--I skipped multiple classes and dropped IB and Chemistry. By the Ontario University method of calculating marks I still have a 93.3 % average (putting me in the 2nd highest automatic entrance scholarship bracket for most Ontario Universities)
I seriously have no fucking clue what career I am going into. I like math, english, and social sciences. . . ???
Nobody seems to believe me when I try to explain my lack of direction though. "You must have some idea"--NO, I haven't.

My Younger Brother
He is somewhat obsessed with me.
He took to yelling "klingon!" and clinging on to me.
He internet stalked me.
He has become obsessed with vampires (though he likes Twilight, which I find to be absolutely horrid) and Rocky Horror (he showed it to two friends as a bonus and one of them has now seen it twice at our house). Like I did at his age. My mother hates it. It amuses me.
I never realized the extent to which he --likes?--looks up to? me until just over the last year.
He is the extrovert to my introvert though. He is the drama queen to my flatness. He is the clown to my over-analysis.
We are both incredibly similar and complete and utter contrasts to each other. He annoys and entertains me.
He has provided me with many stories, he will say and do almost anything.
He better not think I am "cool" because I am a huge geek and he will most likely get made fun of if he continues as such.

Conclusion: I am possibly more immature now than I was as I child. My unintentional teenage rebellion was pathetic and not very rebellious. Angst, completely unnecessary angst. And that is what annoys the hell out of me--being annoyed and tired and generally upset and it all being fairly random and without reason.

bloodrivendream @ 2009-05-04T17:41:00

2009-05-04T22:36:03Z

"If you want to play too, just leave a comment on this post and I'll give you a band. Don't worry, I'll make it one you know and love. You put your ten favorite songs by that band on your LJ and challenge others to do the same."

</a></a>annelie87 gave me David Bowie. Number 1 was easy the rest were difficult to rank and I would probably change them if someone asked me again in a few days.

1. Rebel Rebel
2. Suffragette City
3. Queen Bitch
4. Lady Stardust
5. Ziggy Stardust
6. Diamond Dogs
7. Life on Mars
8. Hallo Spaceboy
9. Andy Warhol
10. We Prick You

bloodrivendream @ 2009-03-31T03:10:00

2009-03-31T09:27:38Z

Tagged by nobody

1) List 12 celebrities you would have sex with without even asking questions.
(2) Put all of them in order of your lust for them. (1 is the hottest.)
(3) Say which movie/show/thing it was that hooked you.
(4) Supply photos.
(5) Tag five people

Tagged: nobody! (yes, I am horrible at games). Whoever is interested, I like freedom of choice.

12) Chris Corner - the video for "Missile" and "President" and "Spin Spin Sugar"

11) Kett Turton - (he is a Canadian actor who is not acting at the moment) His as an adorable goth in "Gypsy 83" (forget pictures--video is better, i.e. there were not many pictures of him)

10) Rosario Dawson - her in "Rent" and "Clerks II"

9) Eddie Izzard - YouTube videos of his stand up and him in interviews

8) Katherine Moennig - her playing Shane

7) Lucas Silveira - music videos

6) Marilyn Manson - I thought he was amazing and hot when I was 11, I cannot remember why

5) Kiyomi McClonskey - I thought she looked awesome in the video for "Typical" and her voice is sexy by her music annoyed me until I heard "Staten Island Dream" and "Lying Through Her Teeth."

4) Patrick Wolf - the video for "Wind in the Wires"

3) Shirley Manson - I saw a biography on Garbage when I was younger and thought she was awesome

2) Amanda Palmer - YouTube got me hooked on her, Backstabber is the best Dresden Dolls video

1) Brian Molko - The video for "Taste in Men" and Placebo and him in the little black dresses and his occasional nerdiness in interviews

game: marry, shag, throw off a cliff

2009-03-30T21:48:49Z

1) Comment on this entry and I will give you 3 people.
2) Label which one you would marry, which one you would shag and which one you'd throw off a cliff.
3) Provide pictures and the names of 3 people.
4) Post this meme with your answers.

I commented on </a></a>cheshcan's choices and she gave me Eddie Izzard, Brian Viglione, and a young Robert Smith.
Marry:

Eddie Izzard
It is Eddie Izzard! He seems like he would be interesting to talk to. He is hot, he just is I am not sure why. And he seems like a workaholic that would be gone a lot--which is good for me because I like being alone.

Shag:

Brian Viglione
I have seen the video for Backstabber. And I have seen the photos from the photoshoot which the above photo comes from. And he should bring Amanda Palmer along. . .

Kill:

(young) Robert Smith
I like the Cure but have never found Robert Smith to be very interesting. The other two just win over him, I have nothing against Robert Smith.

music game

2009-03-25T02:33:25Z

I previously posted this on facebook

good luck. (I would not even know several of these so I did more than 30--guess the artist and I say you win)

Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 30 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses it correctly.
Step 4: Looking the lyrics up on a search engine is cheating.
Step 5: If you like the game post your own

1. ah. . . ah. . . ah. . . [I cannot tell it is symphonic meta--The song is "Tisza's Child"l]

2. Smile like a sun, back over time Crazy for you, pleasure is mine
I love you, I love you, I love you, whats your name?

3. there's a shield around us it's invisible & soundless & we drink too much & fuck too soon

4. Well I could sleep forever but it's of her I dream if I could sleep forever I could forget about everything

5. Describe the touch, no it's the thought it's warm and yellow and has a ruffle it's warm and yellow and...

6. It's true you sold your guitar and bought a guitar?

7. So still, so dark all over Europe And I ride down the highway, 101

~~8. I will love you until the day that I die. [repeats]~~

9. I saw, I saw the stars tonight Mama, I saw the stars tonight

~~10. Welcome, we hate you, we love you, we want you, we need you~~

~~11. Holly came from Miami FLA, hitchhiked her way across the USA, plucked her eyebrows...~~

~~12. Grand pianos crash together When My Boy Walks Down the Street~~

13. When you were here before Couldn't look you in the eye You're just like an angel Your skin makes me cry [it is a cover by Amanda Palmer (with a ukulele) though]

~~14. It's astounding, time is fleeting, madness takes its toll~~

15. I've been a bad girl I aint playin' fair I want you to be free but I don't wanna share

16. The Bloodbeats black tonight

17. She sends me Blue Valentine, all the way from Philadelphia

~~18. Well It's Tough to Have a Crush When the Boy Doesn't Feel the Same Way You Do~~

19. [It is an instrumental secret track off of a Placebo album--I think it is called "Evil Dildo']

20. The child is torn from the womb unbaptised There's no question it's infanticide

21. Her Hair, Her Hair, Her Hair is on Fire she don't want no water let her fucking hair burn

22. [random noises] I got mouth and she's wet

23. Emily tries but misunderstands [but it is a cover done by Bowie]

~~24. I don't wanna make love, I wanna fuck with no feeling~~

~~25. I am the passenger and I ride and I ride I ride through the city's backsides~~

~~26. Generals gathered in their masses Just like witches at black masses [cover by the Dresden Dolls]~~

27. [violin instrumental. Hint: the album is "Wind in the Wires"]

~~28. C-c-c-call me Cumdumpster~~

29. Goodbye cruel world Of this shape a star of five Also applies to the one with six sides

30. Creeping up the backstairs Slinking into dark stalls Shapeless and slumped in bathchairs Furtive eyes peep out of holes She has many guises She'll do what you want her to Playing dead and sweet submission Cracks the whip deadpan on cue

~~31. Never thought you'd make me perspire. Never thought I'd do you the same.~~

32. They're starting to open up the sky They're starting to reach down through And it feels like we're living in that split second Of a car crash And time is slowing down And if we only had a little more time

~~33. White Light. . .~~

34. She doesn't miss much. She never stays too long. She'll read you like the morning paper.

35. cant catch me i'm syntax free i'm preconceived preternaturally i don't invest in what is best your once and for all means shit to me

~~36. Here come Dick, he's wearing a skirt Here comes Jane, y'know she's sporting a chain [If Nobody knows this song I will be sad]~~

37. Alright It's 1969, ok

38. Elevator straight into my skull The escalator rises as it falls I swear our jet is crashin' in my mind You can hold on but I wouldn't waste your time Farewell my Black Balloon

39. Transport, motorways and tram lines Starting and then stopping, taking off and landing

40. life in the circus ain't easy but the folks on the outside don't know the tent goes up and the tent comes down and all that they see is the show

~~41. I just don't care anymore I've reached the end of the road I just don't care anymore Won't cry these tears anymore~~

~~42. If it's a bad day, you try to suffocate. Another memory... scarred. If it's a bad case, then you accelerate, you're in the getaway... car.~~

Part II: the easier version

1. You wanna go for a ride, so get in the car

2. Your the one who's always choking trojans, your thew one who's alway bruised and broken

3. If you want it did you never want for more The girlscout fell from grace

4. Revolution, dope, guns, fucking in the streets

5. I'm taking a ride With my best friend I hope he never lets me down again

6. I, I Still Remember how you looked that afternoon

7. Come back to me awhile, change your style again

8. You keep me coming home again

9. Evelyn, she's seldom been too thin

10. Christmas, that magic time of the year, mom and dad are glad the everyone's here

11. I saw Daddy Kissing Santa Clause underneath the mistletoe last night

12. I been denied all the best ultra sex

13. Please catch me now, I'm lying. You taught me how it can feel like love. Just catch your breath. We'll dive in and our dissent will somehow feel like life.

14. You told me you loved me I know where and when Come sunrise, surprise surprise!

15. Your face when sleeping is sublime And then you open up your eyes Then comes pancake factor number one Eyeliner, rose hips and lip gloss, such fun

16. Like his dad you know that he's had Animal Nitrate in mind, Oh in your council home he jumped on your bones Now you're taking it time after time

17. Two in a blackened room my best friend my girl friend in one bedroom. I found out cause I was bound to.

18. This world, it has so many things, fake girl, in the shiny (?), walk slow

19. Radiate simply, the candle is burning so low for me Generate me limply, I can't seem to place your name, cherie To rearrange all these thoughts in a moment is suicide Come to a strange place, we'll talk over old times we never spied

20. When everything is going wrong And you can't see the point in going on Well nothing in life is set in stone There's nothing that can't be turned around

21. You'll probably get sweaters, underwear, and socks

22. Won't someone give me a gun? Oh, well it's for my brother, Well he writes the line wrote down my spine It says "Oh do you believe in love there?"

23. Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine [cover]

24. Oh yes. . . When you're walkin' down the street And the man tries to get your business And the people that you meet Want to open you up like Christmas

25. I take a vow for a you (?) 'cause I am so tough, I bleed just enough for you

26. I-I-I will Battle for the Sun-Sun-Sun

27. Are you in or are you out? Tell me what is this about.

28. Time to pass you to the test. Hanging on my lover's breath. Always coming second best. Pictures of my lover's chest.

29. You were fresh off the bus from Virginia. I had a year in New York under my belt.

30. [one of the ones from the other playlist]. . . I got a mouth and she's wet

bloodrivendream @ 2009-02-02T03:38:00

2009-02-02T08:44:32Z

Apparently “The Big Read” assumes that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them ;)

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte tried
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible (have read parts)
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (in the midst of reading)
8. 1984 - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegge
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (mais en francais)
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams tried
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Waiting

2008-11-21T06:33:48Z

Another old story. I wrote this one four years ago.

I stood at the bus stop with cool rain droplets running down my body. I wasn’t

standing at one of those bus stops with the glass shelters. I was standing,

waiting, next to a blue bus sign on a metal pole sticking out of the ground. I was

in unfamiliar territory, open to the rain and whatever else wanted to rain down on

me. The ground was soggy. If I stood there any longer I could see myself sinking

into the ground. I must have been standing there for an hour. Waiting for a bus

that I had been told would be coming in twenty minutes. Or had the person said

the bus had stopped running twenty minutes ago? I didn’t know, I didn’t have a

watch and every person I had made contact with seemed to be speaking a

foreign language.

I searched the road for an approaching bus and found a grinning lady of

indefinite age standing beside me. She held up a closed umbrella to me. I looked

at it questioningly. What was this lady doing carrying around a closed umbrella?

She pushed the umbrella closer to my face. Her grin widened causing lines to

spider out of the corners of her eyes and around her mouth. How old was she?

Despite the lines in her face her skin didn’t hang loosely and she had a youthful

energy that would over power any effect gravity had on her face. Her hair was

grey, yet her eyes luminous. I wanted to ask her how old she was but my mother

had told me several years ago on her birthday never to ask a lady how old she

was.

We stood silently in the rain, side by side, until her cool collective manor with

the rain dripping down her long strands of grey hair started to disturb me.

“Don’t you want to stand under the umbrella, out of the rain?” I broke the

silence.

“The rain has never caused me any real harm,” I was shocked at the sound of

her voice as she responded. Her voice had a low calming quality that reminded

me of a lullaby.

“I’m all wet,” I commented stupidly.

She looked me up and down, “I hear humans are somewhere around 75%

water anyway.”

She had a steady gaze that bore into me and wouldn’t let me run away, like I

kept feeling I should. “I guess I’m wet already, so it doesn’t matter that I have an

umbrella now,” I commented.

“No, there is no reason for you not to stop the rain from falling on you,” she

said knowingly.

“How old are you?” I finally asked, disregarding my mother’s advice.

She shrugged, “What age do you want me to be?”

It was my turn to shrug, “I don’t know, no age.” She seemed to like that

answer. She turned her face skyward and let the rain pour down on her. I wanted

to be her; she looked so joyful. I cautiously closed the umbrella and looked

skyward to see whatever she saw. The rain felt nice. Or rather my defiance of the

rain felt nice. I started to spin in circles. As I got dizzier and dizzier, no thought ofstopping ever crossed my mind. I fell. I got back up and continued to spin. I wanted to be just like this. Me, not the umbrella lady. Part of everything yet in

defiance of whatever everything had been before.

I didn’t realize the bus was coming until it had stopped and its doors had

opened. I hopped on. The lady with no age didn’t follow.

“Aren’t you coming?” I asked. Hadn’t she been waiting for this bus?

"No,” she shook her head good-naturedly.

I smiled, in some way I understood. I sat down in the bus and tried to

remember what had happened to the umbrella. Every one of the few people on

the bus reminded me of the lady. Not because of physical characteristics but

because of a certain air everyone and everything seemed to have just taken on.

Blood Driven Dream

2008-11-21T06:19:49Z

I wrote this a few years ago and considering I still can read it I figured I might as well post it.

The two bodies were huddled close together on the floor. Subdued, sensual, dark rock music travelled through the air. The now heated piece of metal passed from the small unadorned hands of the one occupants of the room to the large, multi-layer polished hands of the other. Dark brown, nearly black, eyes stared into eyes that were even darker.
One of the large hands slid the sharp edge of the metal down the other hand's arm, next to another slice. Naked lips came to meet the blood at the surface of the skin. As all the blood on the surface was lapped up more blood came to the surface. As the drinker finished they reach for the razor but they did not receive it. The razor had been set aside.
The drinker looked up, long, dark hair falling into their face. "Are we done?"
"Mmhmm..." came the response through messy lips.
"Who let you have a razor anyway?"
"Should they not have?"
"You have black lipstick and blood smeared all over your face."
"I don't think I did when I bought the razor." When they had bought the razor they probably had looked much like they did now. They had had the same black, straight hair that fell just above their shoulders. The same florescent pink streaks in that hair. The same thick ribbon around their neck. The same make-up lined darkest of eyes. The same large hands with layers of nail polish. The arms were most likely covered. The cloths were maybe different, the lipstick unmarred or not even present. The blood: invisible.
This being's counter-part stared evenly at them, waiting to absorb every word that entered the space between them. The counter-part was free of the other's adornments and make-up. Their marks were to be found in other locations.
"Toni," the one with the smeared face used the short form of their counter-part's name, "how did...?" They let their words trail off; they were not truly confused by the current situation; only outside eyes, peering in, would be.